From a Seeker to a Sourcerer
This is the end of a Life.
And the beginning of another.
I watch as the tender new green leaves unfurl in me as understanding dawns and a long night sees the first light of day.
What is the purpose of my life?
A seeker who has been on a deep and personal quest for years. It feels like a lifetime.
Who am I?
Why do I even have this question in me?
What am I here for?
How do I co-create with my fellow human beings and live my best life?
I understand now that only the first question matters. To truly understand myself is to understand all other questions and in turn Life itself.
Our purpose on Earth is to be WHO WE ARE.
I am ALL THAT IS.
And expressing our true Self in this physical world in any way we desire is the purpose of Life.
When we choose to be authentically who we are in our true Self, we live the life we are meant to.
There are no doubts. No getting lost. No perceived negatives.
We are Life and Life is us.
We can experience this truth when we observe it in others who embody this.
We are touched by them. We resonate with what they have to say.
When Life is lived this way, Life becomes the expression of our BEing.
Not simply an expression of our DOing.
DOing is secondary.
Many do because it seems the direct path to feeling what we desire to feel.
A project well done makes us feel accomplished. Making connections makes us feel loved. Comparison makes us feel better about ourselves.
When doing precedes feeling — it is an effort and there are no guarantees.
The project goes awry and with it goes our state of being.
But when feeling precedes doing — there can be no mistakes or failures. If we make our “preferred state of Being” our permanent state, then what or who can truly shake that?
Then “Does it even matter what we do?”
Paradoxically like everything in life, it does and does not matter.
We could be shoveling dung for one could care and be loving it as we express ourselves joyfully through that.
Not that we need to pick this. Luckily we have a plethora of choices to choose from.
And when we fully embody a being state, the doing is automatic.
We don’t feel because we do. We do because we feel.
The most beautiful gift we have been given is the freedom and the ability to choose how we would like to express ourSelf. It is a GIFT.
What aspect of your divine Self are you choosing to express in this very moment?
The Comedian chooses to experience joy in laughter. The Singer chooses to experience rapture in the song. The Coder chooses to experience triumph through his solutions.
For years when I felt lost and didn’t know what I wanted to do. What I actually didn’t know was which aspect of my Self to put into action.
I did not focus or exercise my freedom of choice to BE who I wanted to BE.
When we come from a false premise that we need to do or be something other than simply BE, we feel lost.
We all are the slaves to the conditioning of our mind that has been trained from the day we are born.
Be Good. Be kind. Be great at something. Be nice. Be brave. Be honest. Be sorry.
What about JUST BE?
Whoever you are in the moment?
We feel we are not enough just the way we are and thus we are constantly choosing to live in the “Problem state”.
No wonder then that living wholly and unconditionally in the present moment then causes friction and pain in our lives.
We always have a solution state we need to get to.
Another premise that arises from this state of unworthiness is that we feel we don’t know enough to be enough.
The Divine knows better and will decide for me.
How can we be creators then? How can we already be perfect, enough and worthy?
Understanding the dichotomy of this is the journey of this paradoxical Life.
We are the leading edge of this Universe.
We are two parts — The Physical and the Spirit (which is the God/Universe.
We may not know (Physical attribute) and we know it all (Spiritual attribute).
The subtle difference being that we in our physicality are not followers of the Spirit but actually the leaders. We stand at the leading edge bravely as we are anchored safely in our Spirit knowing we can’t truly fall or be lost.
So then we experience (Physical attribute) and thus the evolution occurs ( Spiritual attribute)
Little did I know, what I realize today.
The Divine guides us only when we make our choice first of what we prefer to experience.
Another way to say this is that the natural born spark of desire we feel in us is a divine reminder of what we came here to experience.
Following that is our divine purpose.
Our will truly is God’s will.
We are that FREE and powerful.
Creators in every way.
Creating our internal state and thus experiencing the external state.
The Spirit thus experiences this through us.
No experience then can ever be invalid.
ALL is LIFE.
As all is simply experience.
I am thankful for the pain through which I experience the elation of Joy.
I am thankful for the unease through which I experience ease.
I am thankful for the question through which I know the answer.
I am thankful for the seeking through which I know my Source.
The Mind says “We are Sourcerers not Seekers.”
The Heart says “We are both. Being each at different points in life.”
My home in any phase of life — as a Seeker or Sourcerer — is all temporary.
I have more pastures to explore,
I have so much more to experience.
Life is an ever evolving experiential process of expansion.
I only need to stand anchored in the present pondering only one thought.
Who do I want to be in this given moment?
Loving? Forgiving? Caring? Abundant? Funny? Silly?
What do I want to experience?
The choices are as endless as the moments gifted in our lives. The answer lies in the divine spark of desire within us.
We are Sourcerers seeking to experience that while weaving the tapestry called the magic of Life.
