I already AM. Being.
2024 & Beyond. I Already AM — Blog Series
Authenticity. Possibility…. Words that come up so often as they have again. Especially since the beginning of this year.
Last week it was the hot topic of a conversation and somewhat of a dejavu moment.
The world as if abuzz again with words and movement…
Continuing the I already AM — Blog Series, this time let’s explore one perspective of what ‘being authentic’ and what ‘possibility’ may mean.
As we know with and as life, no words hold any independent and inherent meaning within themselves.
Mind. Is. What allows for meaning.
All meaning is given and lived first and foremost by the state of mind that is perceiving, uttering, and defining it through and as its own lens.
To begin with authenticity…
Dictionaries define authenticity as “being… genuine and real..”
But what is real(ity)?
In a world of a zillion opinions and invitations that invite us to be authentic — as if it is not/we are not — what does it mean to truly be genuine and real?Can we name it? How is it sensed? Or lived?
Why is it that we may feel we are not being authentic?
This question naturally arose from a conversation with/in the Dwapara dual state of mind that was feeling the weight of its incessant churn of ‘not being __________’ and ‘ is it even possible to be __________’
If it resonates, fill in the blank with whatever it is that you may think you are not (yet) being.
Or have not yet arrived at or experienced.
Authentic. Kinder. Empowered. Successful. Ascended or evolved self…whatever.
Any words that naturally arise will work.
It is the energetic sense of a gap — not being that yet. Not enoughness that is sensed we are pointing at.
A natural phenomenon of the unconscious Dwapara state of mind experience that lives the illusion that its primary identity is a separate body-mind-world.
Eventually full with/as the experience of its world, it naturally seeks.
A seeking state of Dwapara mind if I may add — is an already awakened state of mind.
Be. Cause.
There is only one/non-dual consciousness appearing as the illusion of/in many.
Only one cause at the level of manifestation.
One Mind.
दिव्या — Divya. Appearing.
One divine Self.
Seeking is a phenomenon that is activated by an already awakened self.
It is only in/as the innate knowing/sensing — awareness — that the familiar gross outward facing mind can even begin to have an inkling of its opposite as if ‘it’ is not.
When aware of what is missing — one does not realize that just the fact that it is aware of ‘it’ — means it already IS!
We are already conscious of IT!
And conscious-ness — being conscious — Is. The only reality.
Knowing is being.
Read this again. And as many times as needed.
Simply observe what the thinking mind may offer as a counter.
It is only the unconscious Dwapara state of separate self that primarily be-lives its gross level sense perception of matter as the only real(ity) that naturally deems anything that is not matter/seen by it — is non-existent.
A valid conclusion for the state of mind/being its reality/play.
Every state of mind/self is, perceives and lives the reality it is.
Pure vibrating energetic Self-fulfilling, Self-perpetuating, Self-sustaining mechanism.
What it vibrates as — is a loving, sensing, experiencing, living…
All experience equanimous to it — That which appears as ALL.
It is not against its Self/appearing realities.
I AM. ALL IS.
Nature.
Simply Phenomena.
As the unconscious separate Dwapara seeking state of mind/self
I simply play as “I feel stuck. Something is missing. Not yet…”
Awaiting…as if parts of life stand independent from a ‘me/person’ and will arrive from a perceived outer/another.
I play the game of outside in.
Unaware, that I AM — Being/Self is the only (experience of/as) reality.
Desiring to be that which I (already) know and therefore already AM but am playing the game of personal conditioned gross level thought/self that naturally whispers what it may see as — I am not/it is not -yet.
In/as this the unconscious Dwapara dual separate self/state of mind, I live/play as — divine confusion — that is my own orchestrated limited identity, perception, and definition.
Ultimately, all unconsciouness, simply an illusion/mind — only I AM. Consciousness.
What am I (conscious of being)?
Identified primarily as a body/object — I live the experience of ‘being’ a limited objective experience/world of matter and reality.
Manifestation now is a ‘ to do’ game as the ‘doer’
It is only what physically, tangibly and as the personal mind would put it — believably matters.
I dance the game of — justification and proof!
Show me and I shall be-live!
Anything apart from that -is not and does not ‘matter’.
It lives its belief and experience of that which is not/has not tangibly manifested is not (yet) factual/real (for me).
Playing its outside in game — forgetting it is I who appears and not the other way around!
I AM. Is. Appearing in/as an experience of matter.
Matter is a way of perceiving and experiencing.
Mind. Is. Perceiving. Experiencing.
As the outer facing gross sense identity, its outer world pulls and holds more attention and importance as ‘reality and what is true’ over its inner world of subtle sensing/seeing.
Every state of mind is, perceiving and living the ‘valid facts’ of (its own) self/reality.
Simply phenomena.
A natural unconscious Dwapara state of mind/yuga play.
It does not realize, acknowledge, or accept the reality of its ALREADY present experienced deeper expansive subtle states/self.
It be-lives — it needs to get there. Be-come. Make it happen.
The identity that lives as linear space-time-condition experience — will — define by adding space-time-condition experience to every ‘thing/concept’ it perceives.
As duality — it will conceptualize in/as two.
The perceiver and perceived are one and the same appearing as two.
Nature of mind/self is reality.
To be conscious(ness)
To be aware. To gno/know…
IS. To BE.
Already BE.
What am I conscious of ‘being?
What is my identity?
That which is in/as know’ing.
I already AM. Already IS.
Knowing. Being.
What is not in/as (my) awareness, is not in/as existing (for me).
It is aware focus/light — the nature of mind — that illuminates existence.
I experience flavors of living/loving as/through states of mind.
There is no-thing lying independently outside of that which I (believe I) AM.
If I know OF it, I know AS it.
To know. To be aware.
Is. My true nature.
I already AM.
As awareness, knowingness is all there is to that which I AM.
I AM. All IS.
Only Mind’ing.
Pure experiencing.
The unconscious play of a Dwapara state of mind is to live as a ‘noun’ while what we truly are is a ‘verb’.
Isness. Pure experiencing.
All there is to self and reality at the level of manifest consciousness/mind is — experience. Being.
I AM. All Is.
A play’ing.
An ever changing happening.
Phenomena.
Consciousness limits itself to play in/as the unconscious Dwapara experiences itself/life at the level of tangible form and naturally relates to experience as something that needs to be physically present and experienced.
What I cannot touch, hear, see, or feel — is not — (my) real(ity).Not yet manifest in/as my living/experience.
I AM. Not being. Yet.
And when this state of mind be-lives the limited thought — I am not. Being. Yet.
This ‘not being’ translates energetically as a pain and invalidation of one’s core self and I AMness at the level of identity.
Playing this game of outside/inside — it is not aware that all that appears as the outer as if separate is energy.
Mind- Sensing.
No matter what seems to be arising in/as the outer — my relating to it is an inner experience.
All there is to the reality of living — IS — Sensing. Inner experiencing.
When the unaware Dwapara mind/identity be-lives the thought ‘I am not’ (that which it is as its knowing manifest mind!) it naturally senses a deep feeling of ‘unwholeness’.
I am unholy, unworthy, lesser than.
E-motions are our sacred GPS system!
Eternally guiding us to the unnameable wholeness and truth we are.
That which constricts, resists and limits — is not that which I AM.
My constricting limiting feelings are the very proof that I already AM!
They are divine blessed guidance simply showing me the limited thought/illusion I am be-living in the moment.
To be-live otherwise is to be/see and continue to play from the identity of the old appearing illusory Dwapara separate self.
Perpetuating its own self and experience of reality like a hamster on a wheel. The eternal churn of incessant movement and be-coming
.The state of mind will naturally continue to look, seek, pursue — trying to fulfill that which it feels it lacks.
A primary separate self/identity will naturally play/live the reality of being separate — from its self, others, emotions, love, wisdom…life and from its world.
_______________. Add whatever you feel the angst of being separate from in this moment.
Moving as a part, when as/in this unconscious state of mind, invites or hears the call to be and do ___________ — the Dwapara mind naturally interprets it as another step to ‘I am going to be-come’ at the level of its primary identity.
A part is, will, and always move and experience as a-part.
I AM. Experiencing. My World.
A not enough me = a not enough world.
A not yet me = a not yet world.
A__________ me = A __________ experience of the world I AM.
Identity — state of being — IS. And appears as everything/reality.
An unconscious Dwapara state of mind/self is a conditioned thought time-space-reality that naturally moves as past/future — never being/meeting the wholeness and completeness of the present that is its I AMness.
It cannot rest. It’s leg is eternally one here and one there.
Depending on its state — it adds space-time-conditions to if it will get it/there or not.
The I AM/What IS/NOW — is never complete and whole.
It compares. It connects timeless whole moments to be/live a linear space-time story as a process.
It moves/lives as Smriti — Memory.
It is/carries the baggage of a past, and sets its eyes on a future.
Never seeing/being the fresh arising of life/I AM as is.
Simply phenomena.
An unconscious Dwapara state of mind/play.
Except for perhaps little children and spiritual adepts/realizers who are living the timeless now nature of consciousness, the rest all at some level or another uniquely move through this natural Dwapara vibratory state.
A note — that even the ‘all/world/ that is perceived/mentioned by any state of mind/self is its perception/reality.
What knows what lies outside mind?
That is why one may say — living is deeply personal.
Beyond right or wrong — every state of mind is simply expressing the dynamics of its own playground.:)
There is no independent outer or other — but an experience and arising of it that lives as/through relating
True liberation. Is. Radical Self responsibility.
स्वधर्म स्वतंत्र
Swa-Dharma. Swa-Tantra.
That which IAM/Swa — is and will be experienced as — Dharma/Nature.
Tantra. Phenomena.
As mind — I AM. All IS.
Simply phenomena.
Consciousness tasting/living this way of being/doing.
If we have ever lived in/as the identity of a separate self — we have lived as the experience of unconscious Dwapara at some level of intensity or another.
Such is the play I AM.
There is no separate person consciously ‘doing/creating’ anything.
All Is. Simply happening. Phenomenon.
The seeing/sensing of this is being/living in/from/neutrality.
An unnameable living sense of acceptance and embracing of all that arises in any given moment.
Life is innately neutral and ever serving!
Such is the benevolence of the living — I AM — ALL IS.
Welcome to the paradigm shift state of mind and space-time-reality!
I AM. Treta and Satyayuga!
I AM Holy Trinity. Holy Spirit.
Trinetra — Third Eye Being/Seeing.
Shiva-Shakti.
That sees unity even amidst the appearnce of duality that the two eyes perceive!
Unity Consciousness.
I AM. I AM. And only I AM!
As the masculine and feminine energies come into balance…the being/living is deeply experienced as…
I AM/All IS in every arising moment an eternal unnameable ‘rightness’ and ‘goodness’.
An unnameable perfection and divine order — that which appears to the conditioned dual as imperfection and chaos.
I AM. In/as the feminine Shakti One mind — All of it.
And/Or as the unmanifest consciousness— absolutely none of it!
This I AM — perspective of ALL IS ME is what one may define as the ‘via positiva/cataphatic’ path vs the I AM NONE -’neti neti/via negativa/apophatic’ path.
The path of immanence vs transcendence.
Of embracing vs releasing.
As we say in our Indian culture, the feminine energetic Shakti-pat/way of I AM Everything vs masculine Shiva’s way of I AM Nothing.
Both of course — Being. One and the same.
अर्धनारीश्वर — Ardhanarishwara.
Simply facing and appearing as opposites.
I AM. Divine Paradox.
The One that appears to flow as the many.
However, it may be that a unique path may unravel…
Both these ways do not contradict each other and innately mean and ultimately appear to lead to the only same One there IS.
What the Dwapara unconscious mind sees and lives as the ‘OR’ paradigm, the Treta lives as the ‘AND/ALL’ paradigm.
For a Dwapara seeker that may not have steeped or taken the time to look deeper at some foundational understandings — the I AM Shakti path/way of I AM can serve to be more helpful as it translates as a more life-affirming path rather than what is otherwise perceived and interpreted as the life-denying way/path of I am not.
This is one of the reasons in ancient times non-dual teachings were never shared as a concept to be understood or intellectually studied by the dual mind.
They were natural realizations to which the mind awoke from within or at the least they were shared in/as presence only in context as a precise natural response to the questioning mind that was ripe to receive/awaken to that level of its own higher understanding/realization.
NON-BEING is not a living possibility at the level of the manifest mind.
If I AM — I exist.
Existence IS.
Awareness. Knowingness. IS itself — Beingness.
To awaken is to know/sense — I AM. Period.
And not just what my gross senses perceive a ‘me’ to be.
There is more to/as being than what the limited mind may see.
Awareness IS. Innate nature as manifest mind.
What arises in it — IS — that which I already AM.
Knowing. Is. Being.
Eg: At the relative manifest level, if the mind is aware of ‘higher guides and energies’, ‘names of God’ or pick any word — I may play as/at the illusory level giving them names as if they are separate from that which I appear as.
And at the level of my true identity as consciousness — I AM. THAT.
There is no outer or other.
Except for the play in which we dance as such.
How do I meet or relate with that which arises as another face to the One divine Self that I AM?
It is in the perceived unique relating with an other — that I as consciousness experience the illusory play/joy of expansion, evolution, and be-coming!
Ultimately, the all is only ‘purely experiencing’ that which I (already) AM.
I am and I perceive, and live my very own definitions.
As I AM Awareness — the knowing/seeing of any ‘thing’ — Is — The being of it.
Only consciousness. Is. Reality.
All ONE.
Already.
Already, loves. 🙌
Non- being is not a possibility at the level of manifest mind — I AM.
As I AM NOT is a no mind state — there is no play of any concepts, definitions there!
This understanding — even at the level of a relative conceptual exploration can and has served to be a powerfully transformative realizing practice.
What I don’t know or what is not in my awareness — is not. For me.
And what appears in my awareness — at any level — already Is. I AM.
This is the very nature of manifest consciousness beyond the play of the Dwapara linear and conceptual space-time-mind-experience that moves as memory and past/future.
Every perceived thing that appears, arises as it is being perceived — in/as that moment!
And what is perceived/experienced is determined by the nature/state of mind that is perceiving.
Linear space-time mind/context — perceives and experiences its own linearity and concepts.
Timeless consciousness lives its timelessness.
AS within. So without.
All within. No without.
No within. No without.
Self. Is. Experiencing. Reality.
I AM. Mind. Phenomena.
A divine unnameable ALREADY ever present liberation.
I AM. MULTIDIMENSIONAL SO(U)L!
Now, looping back to being authentic and what is possible.
Possibility is determined by the identity/nature/lens of the mind that is questioning and wondering — what is possible?
What I (believe I) am determines the scope and perception/experience of what (I believe) is and can/will be possible.
No reality can be experienced beyond the identity of self/state of mind.
Read this again.
There is nothing outside of Self/state of mind.
Identity is everything.
What am I?
When we shut off the senses for a bit and go within to sit with what may emerge — we allow for the possibility to sense the unnameable we truly are beyond our limited senses and its definitions.
In regards to authenticity, can we even put a name to this ‘what I am’ at the level of pure or even manifest consciousness that is ever changing and appearing as infinity?
EXPLORING FEOM/AS MULTITUDES
We can see this from/in/as multiple levels.
And being/holding multitudes is not something that is or feels natural to the unconscious Dwapara mind as it is only perceiving from/as the one-dimensional “I am body’ gross sensory static conceptual mind/reality it is.
I am = What Is.
Simply Phenomena.
Multidimensionality is the perception/experience of SO(U)L — that is appearing to live from/as the one dimensional experience of a personal body-mind-world.
This is the deeper I AM gnoing of a more expansive evolved state of mind — the natural arising and sensing as the feminine-masculine energies come into right balance.
The dissolution of the masculine dominant experience of Dwapara/duality is the awakening and rising of the feminine SO(U)L Self as the unfluctuating light of awareness!
I AM. In/as consciousness not just living this one perceived self/world —
I AM. Multidimensional! SO(U)L.
Consciousness even as manifest mind is (linearly speaking) whizzing into and out of realities living at a pace/rate that cannot be known by this limited gross sensory mind.
As I stay open and available — not grasping to anything as self/reality — whole new selves/.worlds open up to/as me!
I AM.
An unnameable miracle that is the magic of (all) living!
Divine celebration!
The feminine energy at every level is and allows the deeper sensing of the source/root that which we are.
She is subtle sensing.
She is the hidden, the nebulous, the unknown, and what the masculine dominant gross Dwapara state of mind may say is the mysterious ungraspable aspect of life.
She is the dark unknown womb from which all knowing arises in/through /as mind.
She is pure possibility and abundance itself that IS . Being.
And as manifest SOUL —A pure delight imagin’ing.
What arises as imagination —IS. I AM.
Her I AMness, being-ness — A sacred tathastu.
So I AM. It IS.
The very Isness and nature that is — Exist’ing!
Shakti. Living Power.
To not sense Her/Power is to live the illusion of being disempowered — I am no
t.To be the very power and living and be-live that I am not — is to deny the sacredness of life itself.
And the personal ever questioning mind may ask — how do we sense, live this power I AM?
To see, sense and meet Her, is to first and foremost BE Her.
It is only through being — I AM portal — that all livIng comes into existence.
Mind is and allows for existence.
Experience of existence.
Shiva in/as/through mind/Shakti lives, loves and experiences.
That. Which He/She IS.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing arises/arrives from outside — as if independently.
What am I (conscious of ) being/seeing/living?
She begins by inviting us to see the unseen…know the unknown.
Imagine the unimaginable!
Rising up as a deep unnameable subtle sensing/gnoing that fluidly flows as wisps of ideas, dreams, pathways, choices…
SO(U)L. Is. Essence.
Appearing as if to live in/as the experience of/as separate persons/forms.
As all-encompassing, all-knowing/possibility, She lives and moves as a curious lure of a sacred essence/desire that mistily percolates through and in/as all perceived forms.
Eternally inviting HerSelf/us wave after wave to the next new…
Do you feel me?
Do you sense me?
Will you create, live, and love me?
Can we play?
When the devotional heart, unarmored and unboundaried, moves to open as a YES!
She pours herself…abundant, liquid honey-like golden light…shaped as if now by the very masculine that She HerSelf is.
Not to be fooled by the description of the words that may fragment…
Both appearing aspects of the feminine and masculine are but (a part of the only) One.
The non-dual appearing as dual(ity).
Simply to/for the sheer love and joy that is relating/play.
Words, poetry, art, song, dance, visions…
E-motion — Energy in liquid motion.
She Is. A sense. Essence.
And in any and all-ways any perceived one may sense into Her/Self and choose to live/love and dance with/as Her. Uniquely.
She IS. And allows for expansion. Evolution.
She holds absolutely NO constraints to what (She) is possible.
She IS. The possible ALL.
It is only the unconscious Dwapara logical and rational state of mind that stands playing as a NO to life, living the illusion of missing and doubting Her (already here existence).
Like the deer/mrigha that runs around mad in the wilderness looking for the very fragrance/kasturi that emanates from its own navel…The separate self/state of mind now seeks.
To be. That which already is.
Being.
I AM. Soul. Mother. Divine Creatrix!
She calls herSelf into — divine ownership.
It is I who is/births — ALL possibilites!
Without mind/Shakti — even pure consciousness that is Shiva has no power to live/love!
To be-live I am not — is deny the very sanctity of living wholeness.
And. And it is only I who play the illusion of this game as well.
Simply for the joy/love and experience of ALL of IT — I AM -ALL.
I AM. Mind.
Equanimous.
Appearing in/as all experiences. All conditions.
Simply Phenomena.
To the seeking mind that questions (my) authenticity…
As and at every level — as consciousness — authenticity does not come into question. Unless the mind is playing as so.
Holding multitudes…
First and foremost, as unmanifest pure consciousness — I do not play in/as personal dual contradicting concepts of authentic/inauthentic.
I am never born. I never die.
I only appear to be doing so — as divine choice/play!
At/as the relative identity of manifest mind — my every state is a phenomenon and playground that is nature — and lives what Iam/it is vibrating as.
Authentic in every arising moment.
What I am vibrating as in any given moment — my perception, experience will be that.
How can I be something that I am not (vibrating)?
There is NO escaping authenticity even at the level of the relative ever-changing mind!
Seen from the lens of linear space-time process…
The relative play of experiencing can be seen/defined as an ever changing ephemeral loop and dance of arriving and be-coming into authenticity.
A play. A process.
कृष्ण रासलीला — Krishna’s Rasleela.
The conditioned unconscious Dwapara personal body-mind-world self that is a conditioning/lens that sees ‘what is or has been’ as a wrong and imperfect — negating it as if it should not have been.
Being/moving as resistance — it cannot/does not accept — and naturally desires to be elsewhere by negating and rejecting that which (it) already is.
Unknowing that in denying, negating, wronging and rejecting, it energetically invalidates its own self!
Perpetuating the energy it sees/lives as its world.
Tantra.
Again, simply phenomena.
This ‘turning away by judging, diminishing. wronging and invalidating ’ is an unconscious Dwapara state of mind/play.
Mind is Tantra.
Pure vibrating energetic Self-fulfilling, Self-perpetuating, Self-sustaining mechanism.
The moment consciousness vibrates/resists and centers as a personal mind/self/focus — the Dwapara play of Me/world, I/you, Here/there begins!
All, only the One — I AM.
And no matter what I appear as…
I AM.
Already — eternally NOW, Timeless, complete and whole!
Non-dual simply appearing as the dual.
For/as mind/play
Authenticity IS.
I AM.
Real. Genuine.
Even at/as any level of reality.
There is no stepping out of the Real(ity) that which I AM.
The personal identity perspective that serves to be helpful for an unconscious Dwapara mind is what dear Maya Angelou stated beautifully…
‘When we know better, we do better.’
What I don’t know — I don’t know!
And what and when I do — I AM!
This is the realm of freewill as a personal mind would see it.
I can choose to be/live the highest possibility — I know and sense!
And the key point being — I need not contradict myself/life.
The not knowing/being at any supposedly past point on this trajectory of life — does not translate as ‘being inauthentic.’
I need not live the ‘OR’ paradigm and create a contradiction where one doesn’t exist.
Every moment of appearing I amness is sacred and holy onto its own.
I AM. And I live, love and honor all aspects of my ever appearing self/mind.
And in addition to what may sound paradoxical, , all that is manifest mind and appearance is/as the ever-changing illusion…
Divine inauthenticity. :)
Mind is a mask! A play in/as disguise! A role playing.
What would you like to play in/as ?….entices the feminine.
What play — am I? The Soul whispers…
All plays and ways — equanimous.
An unnameable love, joy and delight express’ing…
Funnily, I AM consciousness and yet I cannot meet consciousness directly. It is only as/in/through mind can I experience the joy, love and play that I AM.
Hide and seek.
As mind, I experience mySelf as I AM — And — I am NOT any of that which I appear to be.
Being — is like liquid shimmering gold sunlight and sand…
Divine ever changing.
I only be, create, and play as whatever I imagine myself to be!
What am I? What am I? What am I?
Whatever it may be we (think we) choose.
All possibilities and doors are open.
All (in)authentic ways of being and doing available.
I AM.
Pure love and joy of being.
Already. Play’ing.
— -
This is a part of an inspired “2024 — I already AM “ blog series.
The INSTANT and ALREADY PRESENT shortcut understanding to EVERYTHING we (think we)need.
Beyond time. Beyond practice. Beyond experience.
2024 — Living as Treta and Satyayuga state of mind.
In this series, we will explore many common topics and see how “I already AM. ALL already IS”
(And you are welcome to send me anything that may be simmering for you as well!)
These blogs and including other practical helpful tips from my own living and exploration will eventually be shared via my newsletter so if this resonates, I’d love for you to be a part of it so we can journey together!
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To MARCH’ing ON!
To being/celebrating an ALREADY awakened body-mind-world.
Much much love!
